Life is full of unknowns. It is important that children and young people understand this and learn to accept it. The pandemic has simply highlighted the fact that sometimes things happen in life that are rather unexpected and challenging, but it also highlighted how we can cope adaptively. Reframing is an important part of resilience and I suggest parents invoke this strategy with their children from the earliest opportunity. The pandemic has highlighted aspects of our lives that we took for granted. Suddenly we can appreciate our liberty, agency over our daily activities and the ability to work and earn money. We have greater appreciation for the importance of teachers, schools and the science of learning.
Life is full of unknowns. It is important that children and young people understand this and learn to accept it. The pandemic has highlighted the fact that, sometimes, unexpected and challenging things happen in life. However, it has also shown that we can cope adaptively. Reframing is an important part of resilience and I suggest that parents invoke this strategy with their children, from the earliest opportunity.
The pandemic has forced us to take note of aspects of our lives that we took for granted. We feel more grateful for our liberty and agency over daily activities and for our ability to work and earn money. We have greater appreciation for the importance of teachers, schools and the science of learning.
In the midst of this crisis, we should draw our children’s attention to the power of human ingenuity, the value and importance of scientific endeavour and how our ‘bubbles’ keep us well mentally, as well as physically. Suddenly, we all value and savour each interaction with a friend; these have become more precious than anything else. Nature has benefitted too, from our enforced pause in industry and activity. By reframing challenges in ways that feel more palatable, we can help children through these difficult times. Try to cultivate a strong sense of what we can control, versus what we cannot. It is a bit like squeezing a sponge; try to extract all the good from this tough situation.
As soon as uncertainty arrives, teach your child to seek out the familiar. Where are our anchors? What things will remain stable and unchanging? What can we control? As the world spins around us, we need to become slightly more insular, a little more retrospective and take greater notice of the natural resources that surround us. By taking things one step and day at a time, we teach our children to tread carefully into the unknown. As we model a calm and constructive approach, they will learn to manage any feelings that overwhelm them. One of the trickiest components of the type of uncertainty we are currently facing, is the time factor. The chronology of the unfolding crisis is hard to pinpoint. Will we be in lockdown for longer than six weeks? It is entirely possible. In taking each week at a time, and making it as pleasurable and as productive as we can in family life, we do our best.
More Parenting Questions
Dec 31, 2024
My son wants to buy his girlfriend an 18th birthday present. Help!
Give yourself a pat on the back as your teen is asking YOU for advice. It is a sign that there is good communication between you, and that he sees you as a source of knowledge! I think his question is a wonderful one. Why? Because it shows he values the relationship, recognises the importance of a milestone birthday and knows that gift-buying is not a simple activity.
Dec 18, 2024
What do we need to consider when thinking about hiring a tutor?
Private tutoring can be a great way to support your child's education, but finding the right person can also feel overwhelming. The tutoring industry is largely unregulated in the UK and so it can be challenging to know where to start or what to look for.
Oct 22, 2024
My 11 year old daughter is always hungry. Should I be concerned?
This is a common concern for many parents. Engaged and attentive parents are generally mindful of their child’s relationship with food. This is not surprising given the shameful narrative surrounding the idea of being overweight or obese, and the association that is often made that this is linked to neglectful parenting.
Oct 15, 2024
Should I let my child attend sex education lessons at primary school?
First of all, try not to beat yourself about your decision (you obviously love your child and want the best for them), but I would ask you to think about the motivations behind your decision carefully. Sometimes in parenting, what feels like ‘doing the right’ thing might inadvertently put a child at greater risk.
Jun 03, 2024
How can I best support my son with changes to his class next year?
Firstly, it is normal to worry about changes that lie ahead for our children and to worry about their ability to cope. You aren’t alone. The start of a new academic year is always full of changes to school life. New classrooms perhaps? Timetables? Teachers, pupils, curricula, canteen menus? You sound like you are holding a lot of anticipatory anxiety about the changes that are forthcoming. These changes have likely been explained to you by the school, and perhaps you still feel fearful?
Apr 22, 2024
How can I support my teen through a break up?
Early teen romances can certainly feel exciting and exhilarating but most are also short-lived, and supporting our children through them is something we will likely have to do several times over the years to come. Here are some tips to help you to support your daughter.
Feb 13, 2024
How can I support my child’s move to a new school where he doesn’t know anyone?
Hello! Thanks for your question. When I was reading through it, the thing that stood out first was the description of your son as unconcerned about impending changes and “confident socially”. This is good news indeed and bodes well, although, as you suggest, it is prudent not to assume that he has zero concerns at all about the upcoming school move.
Aug 03, 2023
What do we need to consider when buying our child a smartphone?
First of all, well done considering this important decision ‘as a family’. Buying a first phone for a child can be a financial commitment but, truth be told, it’s also a decision that can impact on all aspects of their lives: mental health, wellbeing, resilience, friendships and even their learning. It is important to think of it as a significant decision which deserves research and reflection. A smartphone isn’t just a phone. Essentially, it is a hand-held computer that, once connected to the internet, can give access to a digital frontier occupied by five billion people.
Feb 17, 2023
What’s the best way to talk to my son about puberty and growing up?
We asked leading expert, Charlotte Markey, Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University, to answer this fantastic question from a Tooled Up mum. Charlotte has published numerous academic studies in this field and has also written two amazing books on body image for tweens and teens which we highly recommend. Details are at the bottom of the article.
Sep 05, 2022
How can I best support my son whilst my wife is going through treatment for breast cancer?
Thank you for your question. From the detail you supply in your email to me, it is crystal clear that this young man lives in a loving, warm and supportive family unit (perfect conditions to cultivate and sustain a child’s resilience). Your concern relates to the fact that your child is starting secondary school and that his mother’s treatment coincides with an important milestone in his life. I can understand why, at this particular time, you might worry a little more about this child than other children in the family.