Here are some practical suggestions from my 32 years’ experience in Early Years education.

1. Praise with Purpose – Focus on praising effort, kindness, thoughtfulness, creativity and bravery, not just outcomes. Use specific language, such as: “I’m really proud of the way you…” or “I loved spending time with you when we…”
2. Encourage Independence – Give him small, age-appropriate responsibilities like choosing clothes, brushing his hair, or helping set the table. These moments help him feel capable, trusted, and valued.
3. Model Positive Self-Talk – Children copy what they hear. Use phrases like: “I made a mistake, but I can try again,” or “I worked hard on tha,t and I’m pleased with my effort.” Encourage siblings to do the same.
4. Set Him Up for Success – Ensure his week includes activities he enjoys and feels good at, whether that’s drawing, climbing, swimming, or playing football. Celebrate these successes with him.
5. Think Together – Invite him to problem-solve with you: “How can we fix this?” or “What could we do differently next time?” Listening to his ideas builds confidence in his thinking.
6. Keep Expectations Realistic – Try not to compare him to other children. Every child is unique, and self-esteem grows best when expectations are age-appropriate.
7. Protect Playtime – Spend uninterrupted time playing together where he leads and you follow. Even 20 minutes of focused play shows him he is important and valued.
8. Respond Calmly – When you feel frustrated, pause, breathe, or step away gently. A calm response helps your child feel secure, even in tricky moments.
9. Mirror Positivity – Stand with him in front of a mirror and say affirming things like: “You have such a happy face,” or “You are strong and kind.” Over time, he will start to internalise these positive messages.

Building self-esteem isn’t about one big action—it’s the accumulation of small, consistent, loving interactions. By weaving these practices into daily life, you’ll be helping your son to develop confidence, resilience, and a healthy sense of self.

If your child has experienced a significant loss in his life this can affect his mood, like any human being, and there will good days and bad days. I would advise you to have a peek at some of the many grief resources within the Tooled Up Education platform and in particular the book list where you can choose a relevant story that can help him open up a little and get all the cuddles and support he needs to cope with his feelings of sadness.

Gentle loving and consistent support will reap all the rewards over time.