Reflect

Of course, the app then always encourages me to share it again, to engage more people and get more 'likes'. I never do. I’ve not really posted actively on social media for years, preferring to use it stealthily for keeping up to date with local gossip, loosely following people I rarely see, training inspiration, amusement and (embarrassingly) clicking on shopping recommendations I definitely didn’t know I needed.

I’ve never really shared huge amounts on social media, but when my children were small, posting the odd photo of them certainly felt both normal and harmless. It was a quick and easy way to record the fun bits of family life and share little moments with friends and relatives. But in recent years, perhaps since I started working at Tooled Up, I’ve become increasingly conscious that those few images - nostalgic and welcome though I find them when they pop up on my feeds - now form part of my children’s digital footprint… forever. It’s not a digital footprint that they chose for themselves. And it’s not one that will ever really go away, even if I delete the posts or my social media profiles.

I think that there are fewer babies’ faces on my Instagram feed these days, and more pictures where children’s faces are blanked out by stickers, emojis or objects (more on that later). However, research has suggested that many parents find it hard to balance legitimate concerns about safeguarding their children’s privacy with a desire to share family moments and fulfil family (and social) expectations for regular updates.

According to a 2018 report by the Children’s Commissioner, parents of children aged 0-13 share an average of 71 photos and 29 videos of their child online each year, with more content shared privately through apps such as WhatsApp. On average, by the time the child is 13, parents have posted 1,300 photos and videos of them to social media, more often than not, without the child’s permission. The report also found that many parents share content with people they do not know well: around one in five had public Facebook profiles and over half were connected online to people that were loose acquaintances at best.

Concerns about “sharenting” have continued to grow. Online safety organisation, Internet Matters, cites 2018 research by Barclays Bank which estimates that, by 2030, information shared online by parents could account for a staggering two-thirds of identity theft affecting young people. Of course, more recent discussions about children’s digital footprints (including in a previous edition of Wednesday Wisdom) also highlight the role of AI, facial recognition technology and data harvesting in increasing privacy risks for children whose images and information are shared online. Images shared online can potentially be copied, redistributed or scraped by AI systems, particularly if privacy settings are weak or content becomes publicly accessible and, in some cases, they are misused by so-called ‘nudify’ tools that use AI to generate explicit fake images from ordinary photographs in seconds, without anyone being any the wiser.

Plenty of parents already obscure their child’s face online in an effort to share family snaps without compromising privacy or risking sexual exploitation. Like many other digital behaviours, this trend began among celebrities before gradually filtering down to the rest of us. But it surprised me to learn that it can offer a false sense of security.

Even when a face is covered, images often still contain significant identifying information, such as location, school, a child’s approximate age or details about routines and activities. Taken together, these fragments can help build a profile of a child’s identity and life. Photos may also contain hidden information (known as metadata) including where the image was taken or details about the device used to capture it. If metadata is not removed before posting, further sensitive information can potentially be revealed. There is also conflicting information online about whether emojis or digital stickers can be removed by AI tools. But ultimately, once an image has been uploaded, copied, downloaded or shared, control over it becomes much harder to maintain.

The only way to eliminate the risks entirely is not to post at all. But for those who still want to share, there are a few quick protective steps we can all take. We can be intentional and thoughtful about images that we post, seek our children’s permission before putting an image online, ensure there is nothing in the image which gives away personal information, and check that our social media profiles are only visible to those we really know and trust.

Motivate

But just as we might overshare on social media, our children may do the same, and of course it comes with the same risks. For some young people, sharing and requesting images (including revealing or intimate ones) has become part of the landscape of early romantic relationships and flirting.

Research indicates that, whilst by no means ubiquitous, sharing intimate images is now a relatively common part of adolescent digital life, particularly among older teens. A meta-analysis published in 2022 reviewed studies involving more than 48,000 young people, finding that around 19% of teens reported sending ‘sexts’, approximately 35% reported receiving them and around 15% reported forwarding sexual images without consent. Sending naked or sexual images (whether real or created with AI) is illegal for people under the age of 18. However, despite this, some teenagers report that they see sexting as a normal part of romantic relationships, with images sometimes used to build intimacy, express attraction or explore identity.

The evidence suggests that simply trying to deter young people through warnings about legality is not effective on its own. Instead, what helps is early, curious and honest conversations (even when they feel really awkward or uncomfortable), alongside openly modelling the thoughtful and intentional digital habits we discussed above.

It’s our job to help teens understand that nothing that they share online is guaranteed to remain private (even if it’s a disappearing message on Snapchat). What may feel like a trusting or intimate exchange can quickly become distressing if it is shared, screenshotted or viewed by unintended audiences. Supporting young people to think about their digital footprint can help them to consider the longer term implications of what they share.

As our teens grow, we need to respect their autonomy, whilst also offering them the tools to make safer decisions for themselves. We want them to think about how to respond if something makes them uncomfortable, to be cautious and confident enough to act on that discomfort rather than dismissing it. That means helping them recognise that they are allowed to pause, question or say no, even if the request comes from someone they know. Crucially, we want them to know that they can always come back to us if something doesn’t feel right, without worrying they’ll be in trouble.

Many teens don’t tell their parents about being asked to send sexual messages. In fact, one large European study found that, where young people had been exposed to sexting, only 21% of parents were aware of it. If your teen does confide in you, try to swallow any anger or outrage, and instead thank them for their honesty and praise them for seeking your help. Congratulate yourself on creating the sort of family environment where difficult conversations are possible.

If an intimate image has been shared, your teen may feel vulnerable or even ashamed. Remind them that they are not alone, focus on the things that make them feel good and that they can control. Tooled Up subscribers could use our Who is There For Me? resource to help. Some research suggests that boys are more likely to send naked selfies without being asked for them first. We also know that boys are more likely to request and forward sexual images than girls. However, this is not always the case, and it’s important to approach conversations without assumptions. If you find out that your child has asked someone for a nude, talk openly about both the legal and emotional implications, including how the other person might feel. Childline has some good advice that you might encourage them to to look at.

Where needed, young people can use the confidential ‘Report Remove’ tool to report sexual images or videos of themselves (including AI-generated content) and seek their removal. The Take It Down service, run by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, can also help with removal of intimate imagery. For adults, including staff, Stop NCII supports the removal of non-consensual intimate images, including those created using AI.

Support

Given growing concerns about image manipulation, data harvesting and identity theft, many settings are now reconsidering how they share children’s images online. Putting stronger measures in place to strengthen image privacy and safeguarding demonstrates a commitment to responsible digital practice and aligns with recommendations in the Department for Education’s guidance on Data Protection in Schools.

In a bid to protect schools, staff and children, some settings are beginning to consider whether images of children are needed at all, and whether pictures without children can still achieve the same purpose. Where images of children are used, emerging best practice is to try alternative angles where students are not photographed face-on, avoid using names, carefully check backgrounds for identifying features and strip metadata before publication.

Ideally, schools will only publish low‑quality, compressed, watermarked pictures on open platforms (which help to reduce the likelihood of misuse) and use secure or private channels for higher‑quality image sharing. Schools should also regularly review and remove older images, particularly once children have left the setting.

Of course, parental consent should always be obtained, acknowledging the right to withdraw at any time and, in best practice, children’s consent is also sought, recognising their growing rights to privacy and autonomy. Policies and training for all staff (especially those in charge of social media accounts) should also explicitly cover synthetic media (AI) and image‑based abuse to ensure that staff are aware of the risks and know how to respond if a student is targeted. Further advice for all schools can be found on SWGfL, Safer Schools and the UK Safer Internet Centre.

The half term holidays are approaching in the UK, so we're having a short pause from Wednesday Wisdom next week. We'll see you back on Wednesday 3rd June. To anyone taking time off, have a great break.